Where Do We Go From Here

Sometimes I wonder how we get to certain points in our lives.  Are we happening to our lives or are our lives happening to us?

I have had EVITA stuck in my head for the past few days. "Where do we go from here?  This isn't where we intended to be.  We had it all.  You believed in me.  I believed in you."

But what do you do when you loose that belief.  When you wake up one day and you are in a place you NEVER imagined you would be.

I feel like my whole world is collapsing all around me.  The ones who you love the most, really do have the power to hurt you more than you ever thought possible.

Those that know me, know that I am not a crier, though motherhood has made me much more of one than I used to be.  This weekend though, I can't seem to stop crying.  My insides are ripping apart at the seams.

But, I have to.  I have to pull it together.  I have 4 boys counting on me to.  They need me strong and present.  So I will be...for THEM.